Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize