CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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