But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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