New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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