btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
