what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
