This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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