Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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