is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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