Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
