shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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