zippers are such a cool invention
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
