ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
