you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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