Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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