Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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