I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
