Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
