just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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