Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
