i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
