i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
