I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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