oh god the rape fog is back!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
