i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
