no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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