Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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