who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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