Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
