Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
