hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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