i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
pray to the hookup gods
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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