You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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