she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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