I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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