He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
