Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
did i just pee glitter
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
