i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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