Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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