she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
