My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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