dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
