Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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