got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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