When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
