she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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