I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
