He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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