Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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