My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
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Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
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What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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