I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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