All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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