I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
