i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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