i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
