I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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