how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
