I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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