Don't make out with my wife yet
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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