The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
